01 October 2011

When is it time to talk to your doctor about PPD?

First off, I apologize for being MIA. My internet has been pretty sucky.

Quite a few women recently have asked me the same question: "How do you know when you need to talk to your doctor about PPD?" and my answer is always "If you're asking that, you should be talking to them". My rationale being that if you're noticing something about yourself that makes you even question the possibility of whether you MIGHT be struggling with PPD, it's better to be safe than sorry and PPD is definitely one of those things that the longer you wait to begin treatment, the sorrier you will be.

With that in mind, I've come to the conclusion that it's time to take my own advice and talk to my doctor. I don't know whether I have some PPD going on in the background, whether my thyroid levels might be a little off, or whether I'm just reacting to all the stress, turmoil, sleep deprivation, and exhaustion I've been dealing with over the last little while. It could be some of all of the above. Regardless, I've just been feeling... off. I can't sleep at night, I'm tired even when I do sleep, I'm irritable. Half the time I feel blah and unimportant, sort of gray and two-dimensional if that makes any sense. Being homesick for my family and friends (but not the heat) isn't helping anything. All of it is classic PPD symptoms... it's also classic stress responses. Regardless, I'd rather make sure. I need to see a doctor anyways since I'm still on the Zoloft I started at 38 weeks pregnant. I had to wait, though, for the insurance to all get sorted out and become effective. Now that that has happened, I can get it taken care of.

I won't lie, I'm scared. Last time, being scared was what kept my mouth shut until I reached a crisis point. I was scared of what people would say/think, scared that "They" might take my daughter away, scared of the stigma. This time, that doesn't scare me. What scares me this time is the thought of going back to that dark place I was in before, of getting so far down into the pit that I can't see the light any more. This time, being scared of that is stronger than the urge to say "Well, if I don't admit it it won't be real". It probably helps to that I know that there's a very good possibility that it's just a matter of needing my Synthroid dosage adjusted, or being told I need more sleep (I tried taking Tylenol PM and the baby slept the entire day after it came through my milk to her) or that I may just need to try therapy, yoga, or getting out of the house more. Heck, maybe I can talk them into giving me a prescription for more regular massage therapy visits and get TriCare to cover it... Haha What helps, though, is that this time I know that even IF it turns out that it is PPD, I am educated. I know that it's just a hormonal imbalance and that it really WILL go away, because I've lived through it before. It helps that I know that I have people who will support me and not judge me.

So, wish me luck. And if, like me, you're asking yourself (or someone else) "Do I need to talk to the doctor?", just do it. There's nothing wrong with making an appointment and saying "Look, this is what's going on". If it's not PPD, well, you haven't lost anything. But if it is PPD, and you wait and ignore it, you stand to lose so very much.

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2 comments:

  1. I'm praying for you, darling! I love you so much!

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