Goodbye Monterey's Rose

In 1997, I remember getting the news that Diana, Princess of Wales had been in a car crash and had passed away. The news stunned more than just England, it stunned the entire world. "Princess Di" was an extraordinary person with a reputation for having a passion for helping people. It seemed to me, as a teenager, that the entire world mourned her loss.

Last week, a friend of mine passed away. Lisa's passing was a shock to our entire community. Everyone said what a wonderful person she was and how much she would be missed. I was one of those and still am. Her funeral was today and I had planned to go but the girls were in complete meltdown mode and Aaron seemed like he wasn't feeling well and was spitting up more than normal so I decided it would be better to stay home. Words can't express how sad I was to have to miss her service, so I thought I'd write a little bit as my own way to deal with her loss.

You may be reading this and going "What does any of this have to do with Princess Diana?". Well, Lisa reminded me a lot of the good qualities that were so well publicized about the Princess of Wales. In fact, when I was looking for a song to listen to while writing this, something that summed up my feelings about Lisa, I found Elton John's "Candle In The Wind" (his rewrite in 1997 for Diana's funeral) and if you change "England" to "Monterey", I think it fits Lisa perfectly.

And it seems to me that you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind.
Never fading with the sunset when the rain set in

And our footsteps will always fall here 

Along Monterey's greenest hills

Your candle's burned out long before

Your legend ever will.

She was one of the most helpful people here in Monterey. She was the epitome of what a military spouse should be. She never hesitated to jump in and help other people or find the information someone needed. She was both gentle and strong, fire-y and kind. I always enjoyed talking to her. She had a fantastic sense of humor and could make people go from crying to laughing with just a few well-chosen words. She could sweet-talk anybody into doing anything, even if they started out digging their heels in more stubbornly than a mule who doesn't want to be led.

It still seems unreal to me that she's gone. It seems so wrong. She wasn't someone who should have passed away now, she should have lived on forever. She was one of those people who seemed immortal. I still find myself wanting to send her a pm or tag her in a picture or status. I keep thinking reality has set in and then I change my mind. There's such a sense of wrong-ness about her passing (and please don't comment with "It's all part of God's plan, that doesn't ever help me feel better about losing someone I love) that it makes it harder to accept. But then, I've never been very good at accepting loss, denial has usually been my preferred method of "coping"...

Goodbye, Lisa. You will always be remembered by the many people you helped and inspired. Even those of us who only knew you from the local military spouse groups will never forget you. You made more of a difference than you probably ever knew, more of a difference than any words I could ever write or say would be capable of expressing. You were beautiful inside and out and your loss leaves a void in our community. We'll miss you. I'll miss you. Thank you for being you. You will always be in our hearts and our memories.

These are sad days. Let's make them better.

This time of year is always a little sad for me because it marks the anniversaries of the deaths of several people I loved and miss dearly. Michael, a friend from the Honor Academy, died in a car wreck 8 years ago. Memmaw died of Alzheimer's 5 years ago. Pawpaw and Miss Vicki both died of cancer 3 years ago. I miss them and for Miss Vicki and Michael, and especially Michael, it's hard not to be sad that I feel like they died too young. They both still "should" have had so much life ahead of them, so many things left to do and so many peoples lives to touch.

Then I look at the news and what is making headlines. Headlines are about the 38 people killed in Afghanistan when a U.S. Chinook (a helicopter ) was shot down. 8 people (including the gunman) killed in a shooting spree in Ohio; one of the victims was an 11 year old child. Premature babies reported dead after the Syrian government cut power to a hospital where the babies were on incubators, all part of the unrest and turmoil in Syria. The conflict in Libya. The economic turmoil in America. Rioting in England (specifically in London). The children in Somalia. Human Trafficking. Killer storms. Unemployment. The news is downright depressing.

I look at the news, at the condition of the world, at the depths of depravity and hatred, and the horrible things that humanity does to each other in the name of religion, politics, and money, and I think that they are the lucky ones. I think that they are the ones who don't have to live with all of this, they are at peace. I firmly believe that each of them, despite their foibles and wrongdoings in life, are safe in the arms of God, and I wish I were there too. Not in a suicidal sense, but in a "I'm longing for home" sense.

With all that is going on in the world, is it any surprise that depression and other mental/emotional health problems are so rampant? I know that a lot of times it has to do with physical/chemical imbalances, but when you take that imbalance and then add in all this crap? It's a recipe for disaster. And yet, the public looks at those struggling with depression and hopelessness and says "They're weak. They're stupid. There's something wrong with them. That's something to be ashamed of." And we wonder why people don't want to speak up about their problems, why people put off getting help until it's too late.

If you're reading this, take a moment to think about what you can do to make the world a little brighter, to help bring hope to someone who sees all the darkness and despair and desperately needs to see some light. Take flowers to a nursing home. Smile at the single mom working full time to make ends meet while going to college to try to make a better life for her family. Take food to the homeless people under the bridge. Stop and ask someone how they're REALLY doing, and then actually listen. Make blankets for a NICU ward. Take your pet to the local Army hospital to visit wounded soldiers. Volunteer with CASA to be an advocate for a child caught in the foster system who doesn't have anyone else who's really on THEIR side. Become a volunteer with Red Cross on a Disaster Preparedness team. Donate blood. Volunteer at a pregnancy resource center. Get together a group of your friends and family to go to Palestine to work in a women's shelter. Go read stories at a children's hospital. Join the auxiliary at a hospital in your community. Join the Patriot Guard Riders. The possibilities are endless.

I started out talking about what a dark place the world has become and the hopelessness and despair plaguing so many people around us, but I want to end exhorting you to find ways to fight to make it a better place, to bring light into the night. We can bring hope to those around us and by doing so, make the world a better place.