Pink is everywhere.

In honor of Strong Start Day, I'm doing a second blog post. I was inspired when I received yet another private message on Facebook requesting that all of the recipients participate in a game where the idea is to use a particular set of criteria to make up the status and then specifically NOT tell any males what the status is about when they ask. Here's the text of the one I've been getting the most often this year.

"Okay ladies it's that time of year again, in support of breast cancer awareness!! So, we all remember last year's game of writing a color as your status?.....or the way we like to have our handbag handy? Well this year, it's slightly different. You need to write your shoe size ( just the number) followed by the word 'inches' and how long it takes to do your hair... Remember last year so many people took part it made national news and, the constant updating of status reminded everyone why we're doing this and helped raise awareness!! Do NOT tell any males what the status means, keep them guessing!! And please copy and paste (in inbox) this to all your female friends to see if we can make a bigger fuss this year than last year!!! I did my part... now it's YOUR turn! Go on ladies...and let's have all the men wonder."

Being secretive about it and not telling males what your status means doesn't raise awareness. My recommendation would be that if you truly want to raise awareness, post statistics that make women aware that it could realistically happen to them, stories that illustrate that it is no respecter of persons and strikes people of all walks of life, facts (ex: men can get breast cancer too!!!), reminders of the importance of doing self-exams and what to do if you find a lump, current recommendations for when you should get mammograms and how often, risk factors, etc.


Beyond that though, where are the awareness efforts and widespread status games in the name of raising awareness for postpartum mood and anxiety disorders? Whenever I question the breast cancer awareness chain message status games and ask "Why do these not get sent for other forms of cancer?", the answer I get is usually that breast cancer is more prevalent, and more easily detected, than other forms of cancer. That may be true for breast cancer vs. other forms of cancer (although I still don't think it's a valid reason to totally ignore other forms and, in fact, is a perfect example of why more attention should be given to raising awareness about thyroid cancer, cervical cancer, prostate cancer, ovarian cancer, etc.). However, it's certainly not true for postpartum mood and anxiety disorders.

As I wrote about in my earlier Strong Start Day 2012 post, Katherine Stone of Postpartum Progress estimates that each year, in the United States of America alone, the number of women who suffer PostPartum Depression is approximately 950,000 women; she also estimates that approximately 1.3 million women suffer from postpartum mood and anxiety disorders, expanding from PPD to include those such as PostPartum OCD and PostPartum Psychosis. That's more women than are diagnosed annually with Breast Cancer (the National Cancer Institute puts that number at approximately 230,000 women).

PostPartum Mood and Anxiety Disorders can be diagnosed easily and early, but it requires education and awareness as to the realities and symptoms, and a departure from the stigma and myths that are so prevalent in today's society. Breast Cancer Awareness is a huge deal in the United States. Stores sell special pink merchandise to benefit various programs and groups. Sports teams have special jerseys. Pink is everywhere. I have no issue with the fact that people want to raise awareness of breast cancer. The issue I have is that sometimes it seems to be at the exclusion of other conditions and illnesses.

Someone asked me this evening why I would make it a contest. I don't see it as a contest at all. What I do see it as is yet another sign of the appalling lack of education and awareness regarding postpartum mood disorders. If the numbers Katherine has estimated are correct, a woman is more than 5 times more likely to suffer from postpartum mood and anxiety disorders (whether one or more) than she is to be diagnosed with breast cancer. And even worse, that doesn't negate the risk of breast cancer, you can obviously end up "double tapped".

All the women I know are very aware of breast cancer. Many, though, are not nearly as aware of the symptoms and realities of PPMAD. That bothers me to no end because I know first hand exactly how devastating and crippling they can be. I was one of the lucky ones. I was able to get treatment and had the support my of family and the few friends who knew what I was dealing with. I almost killed myself but I didn't. Too many women don't get that treatment. Some of them don't know it can be treated. Some keep quiet out of fear, guilt and shame. Some don't have access to resources to get treatment. Some don't have insurance that covers it and some don't have insurance at all. Some have no idea that PPMAD exist. 

These are some of the reasons why I speak up. These are some of the reasons why I'm so vocal in my support of education and awareness. These are some of the reasons why I participate in Strong Start Day in hopes of raising money for Postpartum Progress to be able to expand their resources and efforts for education and awareness, to be able to help and support more women in more ways (Katherine Stone has 6 other great reasons). These are some of the reasons why I'm asking people to join me in supporting Postpartum Progress. Pink is everywhere in America and I want to see that same level of awareness for PPMAD.

Happy 100th Blog Post and Happy Strong Start Day 2012

Today I have hit a milestone in my blogging. This is the 100th post that I've published to Through The Tunnel. My first post was on December 14, 2009. I had recently found out that my pregnancy with Elizabeth had caused me to develop hypothyroidism. Depression can be a symptom of hypothyroidism and the doctor and I were confident that 

if we could get my thyroid levels back within normal limits the PPD would clear up.

Knowing that there was a medical reason for the PPD was freeing for me; it was a huge relief to know that there was something we could do to actually fix the problem. I literally cried tears of joy when the nurse called and told me that my lab results showed my TSH and T-4 levels as being so far outside the range of Normal Limits that my thyroid had practically stopped working at all. 

I started taking Synthroid and sure enough, within just a few weeks there was a noticeable difference. 3 months of thyroid medication did what 6 months of antidepressants, antianxiety medication, and sleep aids had not and I was able to come off of all my medication except, of course, the Synthroid. I can't express how much relief I felt at hearing the doctor say that I was "considered successfully treated". 

When I received that diagnosis of PostPartum Depression and was hospitalized, the shame and guilt that I felt were overwhelming. I was sure that I would never be able to tell anyone my terrible secret. I limited the people who knew to only those who HAD to know. I asked my parents not to tell anyone else in the family. My husband, being in the military, had to tell his Chain of Command, there was no way around that, but I asked that the information be limited to only those who absolutely HAD to know. I was terrified that people would find out and look at me differently, that they would be horrified and think the same thing I did, that I was a terrible wife and mother, that I was a failure. I was sure that nobody I knew had ever gone through anything like this and there was nobody else who would understand.

I know differently now. I know that none of what happened was my fault and that there was nothing to be ashamed of, that it didn't make me a failure. I know that there are other people who have been through the same thing. Some of those are people I know in person. Some of them are people I know solely from online interactions but I love and respect them just as much as anyone I've ever met in real life.

One of those people is Katherine Stone. Katherine is an absolutely wonderful person, and one of the strongest people I know. From her website,

Katherine Stone (@postpartumprog) is the founder and editor of Postpartum Progress, the leading blog on postpartum depression, and a parenting columnist for Disney’s Babble.com.  She’s also the founder of Postpartum Progress Inc., a national nonprofit focused on vastly improving support for women with perinatal mood and anxiety disorders.

Katherine and PostPartum Progress were my inspiration for starting my own blog about my journey. PostPartum Progress was a wonderful resource for me when I was in the midst of my PPD and has continued to be a wealth of information; I frequently link the blog posts on my Facebook and Twitter because they are so well written and have such an important message. PostPartum Progress is where I found the link to My PostPartum Voice, which led me to the Twitter community #PPDChat and a whole world of support that I never dreamed existed.

The work that PostPartum Progress does is beyond calculable value. In a post titled How Many Women Get PostPartum Depression? The Statistics on PPD, Katherine estimates that each year in the United States of America alone, the number of women who suffer PostPartum Depression is approximately 950,000 women with approximately 1.3 million women suffering from postpartum mood and anxiety disorders, expanding from PPD to include those such as PostPartum OCD and PostPartum Psychosis. That's more women than are diagnosed annually with Breast Cancer (the National Cancer Institute puts that number at approximately 230,000 women). October is well known for being Breast Cancer Awareness month with chain stores selling pink merchandise to benefit breast cancer research and awareness, teams like the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders doing special routines with special costumes for BCA, celebrities doing major breast cancer awareness campaigns, and so much more. Breast Cancer Awareness is well and good but where are the major awareness, education, and outreach campaigns for PPMD?

The shame and guilt that I felt, that so many other women feel every day, is largely due to the lack of public awareness and education, to the stigma, misconceptions, misunderstandings, and myths that are so prevalent in our society. PostPartum Progress is working actively to combat that and change the tide, to make people aware of the realities of PPMD and to let women like me know that we're not alone. When you feel like you're floating alone at sea, struggling to keep your head above water, that realization is like a life preserver being thrown to you by the Coast Guard to keep you afloat until the rescue swimmers can get you to safety.

PostPartum Progress can't do it alone though. Last year, Katherine came up with the idea to do Strong Start Day. The idea behind Strong Start Day is that since October 5 is the day of the year that, statistically, the most babies are born, it makes sense to have that  be a day to focus fundraising efforts towards raising money to help PostPartum Progress expand their capabilities and improve their resources so that they can help give more new moms and babies a strong start.

PostPartum Progress helps and supports so many women and families. It seems appropriate to me to dedicate my 100th blog post to supporting someone who has supported me and supports so many other women who are in similar situations or worse. I'm asking that my friends, family, and anyone else who's reading consider supporting PostPartum Progress. As stated in her post about Strong Start Day 2012, 

My goal for Strong Start Day 2012 is to raise enough money to allow Postpartum Progress Inc. to translate what we have done online into offline materials. I am asked all the time by nurses, doulas, physicians’ offices and if they can use the words we have created here to help mothers understand what they’re going through and that they can get better. They want our words because they believe we reach moms in a safe and accessible way. They want and need materials from us, materials that I have yet been able to give them because I haven’t had the funding to create them. Not every new mom is online. Plenty don’t have Twitter accounts. They aren’t on Pinterest. We need more ways to reach moms who need help.

This Friday, October 5th, is the 2nd annual Strong Start Day for Postpartum Progress. We only ask for your help one day a year because we don’t believe in bombarding our friends with continual requests for donations. I know I get zillions of them — in my inbox, my mailbox. We want this one day — October 5th, the day each year on which more babies are born than any other — to be the one day you are reminded to give whatever support you can to Postpartum Progress, and to encourage everyone who loves you and who believes moms should know more about postpartum depression to support us too. I hope you’ll join us.

If you'd like to donate to PostPartum Progress, you can follow the link or click the red button below. I hope you'll consider joining me in donating to this cause that has meant so much to me and to so many other women. Regardless of whether you can donate monetarily, please spread the word in some way, whether it's sharing the link to this blog post or sharing Katherine's links.

Over the last 3 years and 100 blog posts, so much has changed for me. New babies, a cross-country move, and so much more. What hasn't changed is that many many many other women are suffering, some in silence, from PPMD, and that PostPartum Progress is there to provide support, education, and a variety of resources. What does need to change is the lack of awareness in today's society. Today, we have the chance to help power that change. Will you join me in supporting Katherine and PostPartum Progress?

P.S.
As another show of support, if you're reading this, will you leave a comment below encouraging Katherine in her efforts to advocate for Warrior Moms everywhere?

Happy Strong Start Day!

Having a baby was supposed to be one of the happiest times of my life, and for many people it is. For me, though, it turned into one of the darkest times I've ever known. After Elizabeth was born, I joined a most undesirable club of women suffering from PostPartum Depression. For 3 months, I buried my head in the sand and refused to acknowledge I had a problem or ask for help. I felt so alone, helpless, and hopeless. One night when I was trying to decide whether to throw myself down the stairs or to overdose on pills, I realized that I needed help and went to the E.R. I was hospitalized for a little over a week and put on medication. It was a long hard road back but eventually I found my way to the end of the tunnel and back into the light.

A big part of the problem was that I, and my family and friends, weren't educated about PostPartum Depression. I thought I was just a bad mom. My husband thought I was just in a bad mood and refusing to stop wallowing. At my 6 week postpartum checkup, the Nurse Practitioner didn't ask me anything about how I was feeling or look at my questionnaire. When I was admitted to the psychiatric hospital (twice), I was put in general wards with people who were dealing with alcohol and drug addiction combined with multiple other mental health problems. There was nobody else dealing with PPD and the staff had only a basic knowledge. After I was released from the hospital, one psychiatrist refused to see me and the rest of the psychaitrists had very long waits to be seen. I actually had to go to the ER to get my medication refilled. There were no psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, or anyone else who specialized/had much experience with PostPartum Mood Disorders.

All of this is indicative of the sad fact that in the united States of America, general education about PPMD and healthcare for women suffering from them are sadly lacking. Watch tv and you'll see plenty of advertisements for treatment options for Erectile Dysfunction, high cholesterol, blood pressure, heart problems, incontinence, insomnia, diabetes, and plain old depression. What you don't see are spots talking about PostPartum Depression and it's symptoms, causes, treatment options, etc. There are hospitals and doctors aplenty specializing in all sorts of problems, where are those that specialize in PPMD? And why is it that people hear that someone has a PPMD and say things like "You need to pray more" or "Make up your mind to just get over it"? People hear "I have PostPartum Depression" and think "Oh, you're going to go kill your children". The public needs to be educated about the realities of PPMD and the healthcare system needs to have more resources available to treat and support women with PPMD, and their family members.

PostPartum Progress is a wonderful resource that's dedicated to changing that. Thanks to Katherine Stone and PostPartum Progress, women are learning that we aren't alone in this journey. We're learning that there is a way out of the pit and that suffering alone is not the only option. We discover resources and advice. For someone wondering "Could this be PPD? What does PPD feel like?" there are blog posts about PPD Symptoms in "Plain Mama English". For those who are wondering "What if I can't get an appointment?", there are blogs about that too.

As you can see on the blog header, today is October 5. October 5 is, for some reason, the day that more babies are born than on any other single day. October 5,2011 is also Strong Start Day 2011 at PostPartum Progress. To explain Strong Start Day, here's the letter Katherine wrote and posted at PostPartum Progress:

Postpartum Progress needs your help.
I write today because I’m personally asking you to support the work of Postpartum Progress.  I know you have trudged the dark and lonely road of postpartum depression, either as a sufferer, a family member or someone who cares for new mothers.
I must tell you that nothing makes me more anxious or, quite frankly, sick to my stomach, as asking for donations.  Well,one thing makes me sicker: the fact that today only 15% of all women with perinatal mood and anxiety disorders ever receive professional treatment.  This means that each year hundreds of thousands more women and their children may suffer from the negative effects of untreated PPD and related illnesses for the rest of their lives.
Postpartum Progress will change that with your help.  We are developing a compelling national awareness campaign for postpartum depression, as well as new and improved patient education materials (the kind new moms won’t throw away!), and new uses of technology to reach suffering moms no matter where they are.
On October 5th, the day when more children are born each year than any other day, I am asking you to do one of three things:
1)   Make a donation to Postpartum Progress.  Any amount is welcome.
2)   Ask at least 2 other people who love you and know what you went through – people who’ve come to know that postpartum depression is real and that all women deserve to have access to the best information and help – to make a donation today in your name.
3)   Refer us to contacts at organizations that can help us with our work.
If you are financially unable to donate, send us your prayers or moral support so that we may find the right people to help us make major change.
Every single person who donates this week will be honored on our website (unless you prefer to remain anonymous).  We are a 501c3, so your donation is tax-deductible.
Today’s the day.  Please help us build stronger families, one mom at a time.

I hope that you'll consider supporting PostPartum Progress. The work Katherine is doing is so far beyond valuable. I can speak from my own experience that both in the midst of PPD and in the time following when I have wrestled to come to terms with what I went through, as well as in teh months following Miriam's birth when I've been worried about whether I would develop it again, it has been a beacon of light. Check out the website and help make care and resources more readily available for new moms and their loved ones.