19 September 2012

Welcome to motherhood, Take 3

Greetings greetings! Remember my last post about how a certain little somebody was being stubborn about being born? Well, apparently the threat of induction worked! I went into labor on Friday, September 14 and Aaron was born at 2:58am PDT on Saturday, September 15, 2012. He weighed 8 lbs. 4 oz. and was 20 1/2 in. long. From the time I woke up with contractions to the time he was born was about 15 hours but active labor (once my cervix was dilated to 4cm) to birth was only about 9 hours. I only had to push once and he was out. He took his sweet time but once he decided it was time, there was no dilly-dallying around. He's beautiful and very healthy. So healthy, in fact, that at his newborn checkup the day after we went home from the hospital, he was already back up to only 1 oz. under his birth weight. Way to go Aaron! I guess Mama's milk really agrees with you.

When we were on our way home from the hospital, I kept just looking around outside, staring out the window. Everything felt different, alien, changed. It had only been 3 days since we left for the hospital when I went into labor but it felt like a different lifetime, like years were packed into each moment. I felt intimidated and a little overwhelmed. Part of that was due to exhaustion (Aaron had his days and nights mixed up while we were in the hospital and since he wasn't sleeping much at night, I wasn't either). But part of it was just the sheer newness of everything. In some ways, the world itself looked like a different place, I certainly felt like a different person.

That evening, my mom took me to Target to pick up the prescriptions the doctor sent me home with. She asked how I was doing and I told her. We talked a little bit about how I was feeling and she pointed something out to me that I hadn't realized: a lot had happened in just a couple of days. Talking to my mom I realized that I feel like a different person, like the world is different, because it's true. In the blink of an eye, in the few seconds it took to push my baby out, my life and that of my family, changed forever.

The experience of giving birth has changed me, just as each of my previous childbirths did. I've heard some people say things that indicate an attitude of "Once you've given birth, you've given birth, subsequent births aren't really any different". I couldn't agree less with this type of attitude. I've gone through childbirth three times now and each time has been it's own unique experience. Each one has left it's own impression on me, changed my view of the world in some way, changed some part of who I am, changed my life. Even the traumatic parts of my first birth have made me a better and stronger person.

The changes don't stop with just giving birth though. It goes so much farther than that. I don't know all the changes that will continue to come but I know that come they shall. Life is not stagnant, it is ever moving, in constant motion. It can be scary. it IS scary, but I refuse to let the fear petrify me or keep me from moving forward. I will move forwards, I will carry on. I will face the changes. I will make the conscious effort to embrace them.

Aaron and I being embraced by the gigantic stuffed gorilla
my parents got for Aaron. It's a bit of a family tradition
for my dad to buy the new grandbabies a stuffed animal
that's larger than they are. Dad couldn't be here but Mom
did the honors in his place.

I apologize if this seems disjointed or ramble-ish. I'm still a little tired and out of it from giving birth 4 days ago and waking up every couple of hours to feed a baby who's determined to triple his birth weight by his 2 week checkup.


  1. Congratulations!! To know that you have been through a PPMD and have gone on to have more children is such an inspiration to me. I know it is possible! Congratulations again :)

  2. Nope. Amazingly unrambly. Every child is different; why should birth be the same? Even though these were just over a year apart, you weren't the same person you were right after Yumyum was born-- or even the person you were just a day before the birth.
    Life doesn't fit neatly in a box, no matter how many people tell you otherwise.
    Can hardly wait to hug you and the others, and hold Aaron!

  3. Congrats! I love his name. If my youngest would have been a boy, we would have named her Aaron!You are so right, with every experience of birth, I changed, my life changed.
    Hugs from me to you and your baby boy.

  4. Well done, Esther! You become a more beautiful person day by day, and it's a treat to see the lovely woman you have become. I love you!

  5. Congratulations. Sean and I love you and we know you will be as strong and as wonderful a mother as ever. Give kisses to those firey redheads of yours and much love to you and the new baby.

    Amanda S.