01 April 2011

I started Zoloft this week

I'm now 38 weeks and 4 days. I have 9 days left until my due date. So far, my thyroid levels have stayed under control and so have my weight and my hormones/emotions. Well, as much as hormones/emotions stay under control in pregnancy. LOL My perinatal doctor continued to check my thyroid levels every 4 weeks all the way through pregnancy and since my levels were normal at my 36 week check-up, I won't have to see him again. Yay for normal levels!

My midwives started me on Zoloft this week. It's an antidepressant (an SSRI) that is safe for pregnancy and breastfeeding. I haven't had any symptoms of depression but we're doing it as a preventative measure. I suspect that as long as we keep my Thyroid managed, I won't have any issues with PPD but I'd rather be safe than sorry and to know that I did everything possible to avoid issues this time around.

It was actually a hard decision for me, whether to start Zoloft or just rely on the thyroid medication. I know, I know, it should be a no brainer to take it right? The problem was, I felt like starting Zoloft made the possibility of having PPD again seem that much more real. Sort of like, if I ignore it and don't treat it it's not really a threat and won't happen. I didn't want to take it and remember the place I was at before, when I did have PPD last time. The deciding factor for me, after wrestling with the decision, was when a girl I knew from an online forum killed herself. It was sort of a slap in the face, a reminder of what depression can do from an outside perspective instead of just looking at it from "what did it make ME feel". It was also a reality check that "Hey, this is nothing to play around with.". I came to the conclusion that nobody will judge me or look down on me for taking it, and if they do then they are probably not someone I really want to be friends with... but you better believe that before I say Adios there'd be a little chat about PPD and the effects it can have on the mom, her family and friends, every aspect of her life, and how the stigma attached should not be there and how no it really doesn't mean someone is crazy or any less of a human/woman/Christian/whatever.

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