Mental health hero moment: Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

In the past, I've written about my frustrations with people who attribute struggles with PPD or any other mental health issue to a lack of faith or any other spiritual failing. Today, I want to talk about someone who is getting it right: Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

During the 183rd Semiannual General Conference spanning from October 5-6, 2013, Elder Holland gave a talk titled "Like a Broken Vessel". Elder Holland, THANK YOU!

Elder Holland's talk should be required viewing/listening/reading for all Christians, no matter what church you do or don't go to. If you're not Mormon, ignore the Mormon-specific language. You can still get a lot out of it.

Here's one of of my favorite quotes from his talk:

"However bewildering this all may be, these afflictions are some of the realities of mortal life and there should be no more shame in acknowledging them than acknowledging a battle with high blood pressure or the sudden appearance of a malignant tumor."

Here, Elder Holland hits on a point of vital importance: mental illness is an illness. I have no problem posting on Facebook things like "My sinuses are terrible" and "The doctor says I have Pneumonia, time to break out the antibiotics", and should similarly not be afraid to say something like "I'm having a lot of trouble with horrible thoughts popping into my mind unbidden" and "I've just been diagnosed with Postpartum OCD. I'll be starting medication and finding a therapist". I absolutely love that Elder Holland has specifically acknowledge and pointed out that health is health and illness is illness and there should be no shame in acknowledging or seeking help.

I've talked before about how frustrating and non-helpful it is to say things like "Just pray more", "Just have more faith", "Are you sure you've confessed all your sins?", or anything else that insinuates that the person with PPMD (or any other mental health issues) is at fault or is somehow choosing to have PPD etc. The fact of the matter is that PPD etc. is not a spiritual issue, it's a health issue. It's not something that you can automatically just pray away. There are people who say that they prayed and received miraculous healing, and I'm truly happy for them, but that doesn't always work. Sometimes, prayer really isn't enough. You can have all the faith in the world and still have PPD, etc.

Elder Holland is one of my heroes in the Church, for being so willing to be open about his own struggles and for standing up in General Conference and saying "This is real. There shouldn't be any shame". For getting up there and saying that it's ok and good to seek help from professionals. For showing so much love and compassion and understanding. I hope to someday get to meet Elder Holland and tell him exactly how much his words meant to me and to so many others

For anybody out there who's reading this and trying to find their way through their own dark tunnel, especially for my LDS sisters, I leave you with these words from Elder Holland's talk. They are words that give me hope and I pray that they also bring you some measure of comfort.

"I testify of the holy Resurrection, that unspeakable cornerstone gift in the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ! With the Apostle Paul, I testify that that which was sown in corruption will one day be raised in incorruption and that which was sown in weakness will ultimately be raised in power. I bear witness of that day when loved ones whom we knew to have disabilities in mortality will stand before us glorified and grand, breathtakingly perfect in body and mind. What a thrilling moment that will be! I do not know whether we will be happier for ourselves that we have witnessed such a miracle or happier for them that they are fully perfect and finally “free at last.” Until that hour when Christ’s consummate gift is evident to us all, may we live by faith, hold fast to hope, and show “compassion one of another,” I pray, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen".

Sometimes prayer just isn't enough

I've sort of touched on this before in my post titled Just decide to be happy but I want to focus on the spiritual aspect of this, for lack of a better way of putting it. Often times, Christians will tell a fellow Christian something along the lines of "You just need to pray more" or "Stop wallowing" or "You need to really believe that God will heal you". They say this about everything from a cold to cancer, and within that spectrum falls mental health problems, specifically (from my experience) PostPartum Depression. I know it happens with other conditions, PPD just happens to be the arena that I have some experience in so that's the angle I'm addressing it from.

I personally can attest to the fact that God answers prayers. I grew up hearing the old church adage "God always answers prayers: Sometimes He says "yes", sometimes "no", and sometimes He says "wait". I think there's something to add to that when it comes to health problems (physical, mental, emotional, any variety), he sometimes (read: often) says "You need flesh and blood help". Yes, God answers prayer, but sometimes prayer on it's own just isn't enough. Sometimes, we have to take action in this world as well.

Going to a psychiatrist, admitting that you need therapy, going on medication, none of these things mean you are a bad Christian, they don't mean your faith is lacking, they don't mean you need to pray more/pray better/rebuke the demons better/pray the Prayer of Jabez regularly/get blessings from more Priesthood holders[1]/pray in tongues more often/anything else. Sometimes, we really do have to use the resources God gave us in the form of modern medicine.

If you're a Christian who knows that someone is struggling, DO NOT tell them any of these things. (1) It's not true (2) You're probably making them feel worse. Think VERY VERY carefully about how you respond to them because regardless of how good your intentions are, saying something that even has undertones of that variety can cause a lot of damage. One of the last things a Christian needs when they're already struggling with the myriad of feelings and thoughts that come with PPD is to then feel like those who are supposed to lift them up are judging them, or to question their faith. I know when people told me this, I thought "I pray all the time, if this could be dealt with just by praying I'd have been all better a long time ago."

Sometimes, prayer is enough in some situations. I have seen people healed of various illnesses, maladies, conditions, etc. I know people who have witnessed drastic infirmities instantly healed. I do believe that God can and does answer prayers with yes... sometimes. Sometimes, prayer on it's own is enough. But sometimes it's not, and that's okay.

[1] For my LDS readers